Just a little pinprick. [ping]
There’ll be no more
But you may feel a little sick.
Can you stand up?
I do believe it’s working. Good.
That’ll keep you going through the show.
Come on, it’s time to go.
Some headcanon thoughts about Amon’s younger years and his struggle with substance addiction in his previous life.
So, Scylla is writing a set of side stories (which I hope she’ll post) that reference some of my own pieces (in Memories). And then I ran across above video of the Pink Floyd song Comfortably Numb… which has been a favorite of mine for most of my life (despite the subject matter).
All this got me thinking a bit about where Amon’s troubles first began, which really was when he was too young to even know the path he was choosing. I didn’t go into this deeply when writing Memories because I didn’t want to focus too much on the topic of addiction. But it was a major issue for him.
Amon was seen as valuable by the folks in Syrcus Tower at an early age due to his ingenuity and natural magical talents. However, in true Allagan style, being simply “good” is not “good enough.” Nope.
When the folks at the Tower recognized Amon for his heightened ability to channel and control aether, they decided they needed to enhance it. Just like all things in their society, they just couldn’t leave well enough alone.
The injections they gave him were tested and legit, I’m sure. They didn’t do anything they thought was risky to Amon… Except that perhaps, it’d never been tested on someone who was so young – especially a young Elezen, who matures slower than other races.
The enhancement worked. Oh, it absolutely did have a strengthening effect on Amon’s abilities. But he also quickly became addicted to his heightened sensitivity to aether… and he felt physically and mentally curbed when the injections were taken away. So, something that was meant to be temporary became a long-term addiction.
By adulthood, Amon saw the injections becoming less and less effective. So, he did his own research and tweaked the serum to give it the kick that he felt he needed. And thus, he started down the slippery slope of self-experimentation which eventually opened the doors to other unsavory stuff.
The song Comfortably Numb captures a lot of the struggle I could see in a young adult Amon, especially after Clio breaks up with him and leaves him to his own devices. He becomes completely reliant on the serum to function, which he alters to give himself whatever he feels he needs. Perhaps, at that point, he even tweaks it to dull his own pain and loneliness…
And while the lyrics of the song are meant to be a two-way dialogue (a doctor “treating” a performer, who speaks of his childhood while under the hazy effects of the injections), in Amon’s situation, he would be both voices – the one administering and receiving the injection.
Anyhow. Sorry for the rambling. Just a mind dump.