Coming to Terms – Part 3

This chapter was written in collaboration with Scylla.

“Hate.”

Scylla sat down on the foot of the bed, turning the glow-lamp up, speaking with a flat voice.

“The pain is nothing compared to the hatred I have for you.”

Her eyes opened as she looked up under a darkened brow, swallowing back tears. “I hate everything that you are, everything that remains of you.   I hate how you marred my father’s name and his work, and manipulated his kindness for you.”

She pointed over at the trashed node with a bitter moan.

“Father was even fooled in the end that you had any care for anything other than your own ambition and greed.”

Once again, she looked at Amon with a snarl as her voice became louder. 

“Most of all, I hate that there is nothing I can do about it.  Short of bringing this ship down, you will be brought to justice, and manipulate your way out just to do this again… and again …and again!”

“So, Amon?” She waved her arm with some pain, holding a bedsheet as if a cape.  “Who will be the next tragic player in the great act?  Who will be the next to meet some terrible fate at your twisted court of justice?”

“Twisted court of justice,” Amon echoed slowly. “That is where my hate began.”

Everything she said was justified. In fact, he knew exactly how she felt.

“Oh, I do know that undying burn. That rage. That desire to lash out.”

His gold eyes flicked over to Scylla, focusing intently on her facial features. He wasn’t sure how she’d recreated  herself – likely a clone – but she’d done a good job in making herself as he remembered from a long time ago. Before his own hate transformed their rivalry, turning it into something more… torturous.

“I had to make the call in that twisted court of justice,” the Elezen let the sheet slip away, and cared nothing about it. Scylla knew his past. Knew the depth of his sins. Her seeing his face did not make him flinch.

“I was backed in a corner and the only logical way to proceed was to make the vote.” Amon ground out the last word with sharp spite. “I was too much of a coward to stand up for her… to figure something out to stop the situation. I watched Clio go to her death instead. And oh… that self-loathing that festered within me after… I would have done anything to be rid of that guilt.”

“That’s why, when I was informed that you were involved in handing her over to the court, I was livid.” His eyes narrowed sharply as he drew himself up to his full height. “Insanely livid. Yes, I understand the depths of hate. And what it will put into a person’s mind… especially one that was as deranged as mine own.”

“So I brought together all the things you despised the most… to drag you down to join the depths of my misery… to create my own twisted justice.. my own revenge… yes… that idea pleased me immensely.”

A slow, sadistic grin slipped over Amon’s face, just for a moment, as if falling back into old ways of thinking. Then, it faded as his eyes focused on Scylla again.

“But… I made a mistake.” The Elezen’s voice lowered, almost rasping. “To place factual belief in something that was not factually proven… and to seek no proof. My misery overwhelmed my logic… and I acted on my own hate without questioning.”

“It never occurred to me that… that what I was told might not have been true.”

Amon looked away, unable to speak the words directly.

“What I did to you was… wrong. There’s not even a word to prescribe to it that will do it justice. And there’s not a thing I can do that will ever erase it.” He closed one fist slowly. “So hate me if you must. Because I understand hate. I have lived it, and it has driven me to depths I did not know I was capable of.”

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